Living Gently

Prison can be be a chaotic place.  One day I was in one of the buildings meeting with an inmate, when I felt something in the air and then heard a LOUD alarm sound.  I was immediately rushed into a locked nurses office.  The ceiling was plexiglass, so I could see what was going on in the tower above me....TOTAL PANIC...  "Get the grenades, get the grenades!" the officers yelled.  I was terrified.. Grenades?  I felt like I was in a war zone.  The yard was rioting.  Hispanics vs. Blacks.  

Fast forward 2 months,  the prison was on lockdown with inmates in their cells 24/7.  It was dank and hot and inmates were constantly yelling out of their doors.  Everyone was miserable... except one.  He strolled across the yard to his medical appointment with an upright gait, looking around, and he even had a happy expression on his face. When he got to the clinic, I asked him how he was handling the lockdown.  He said, "Ya know, when things go wrong here, I simply say to myself, Yup, I'm in prison."  He went on to tell me how he uses the lock downs to focus on his drawings. I was astonished and very impressed by his coping style. How a person living in miserable conditions can not only survive, but actually thrive.  

Looking back, there was a gentleness to the men who functioned well in the prison. The way they carried themselves.  The way they walked across the yard.  The way they spoke.  The way they thought.  They had an air of acceptance and perhaps even contentment about themselves and their lives.     

Gentle Living is a way of living and a way of being in the world.  A loving of what is.

Maybe these gentle men have something.  If they can be gentle in a maximum security prison, why can't you?   Here are some strategies that you can use to live gently too:

Slow down  

Physically slowing yourself down is a simple way to start living gently. You will notice your feelings, thoughts and can soak in your surroundings. There are endless ways to slow it down. You can walk, move,  drive,  make love and even talk slower. Purposefully slowing down has a tremendous calming effect on you as well as those around you. 

Take a few purposeful breaths 

Take a few purposeful breaths everyday.  Breathe in through your nose, and count to 4.  Hold for 4 and then slowly exhale out counting to 8.  This is a relaxing breath.   For that moment, it puts you in charge of yourself and your day.  

Don't over schedule yourself

"When you work a little, love a little and play a little, life is good."   Unscheduled time with yourself and others allows for connection, creativity, awareness, and even love.

Unplug

Living gently requires occasional unplugging.  Make time in your day to consciously turn off your computer, phone, i pad, and TV.  When you unplug, you can check in with your feelings and thoughts. You will also sleep better, if you do it an hour before going to bed.

Count your blessings

When you take the time to count your blessings and look for what is wonderful in your life,  your life will begin to change.  Research shows that people who take time to acknowledge what they are grateful for are more satisfied with their lives. The brain looks to confirm what it already believes to be true.  So once you start seeing things to be grateful for, your brain starts looking for more.

Be present in the moment

The best advice I heard on this topic was Do what you are doing, as you are doing it.  So, if you are washing the dishes, notice how the water feels, the soap, the feel of the dishes, the smell of the soap, etc... when your mind wanders to the past or the future (which it will), simply bring it back to what you are doing. Breath and Mindfulness always bring you back to the present. 

Be Well   

Be Present